But…

The absolutely best way is to ask Kerry. It's a lot harder to screw up and offend her if you introduce her how SHE wants to be introduced [tip: this can apply to pretty much everything in a relationship]

I think I twisted several ideas in the wind one time when I was living with someone. He dissed me one time, introducing me as just plain “Deb.” to some former childhood playmate, all grown up, sparkly and pert. I wanted to be more than, “just Deb,” like I was the prize he chose instead of sparkle woman.

And, while I like my name, his lack of addressing all that we were to each other—to the population at large, somewhat miffed me. After all, Hell-OOOhhhh!!!we WERE engaged…! I wanted Miss Sparkle Perky to understand that Chuckie was off her radar, for good.

Ahhhh…men and their built in brevity of thought. Not that he didn't love me. But on the flip side of that one time, I decided to clarify things at our next soiree where I found myself introducing HIM to someone this way, “Oh, this is RODOLPHO, whom I met hiking in the Andes last semester. But, I like to call him Mr. BIG,–wink-wink—my sex-crazed, live-in lover boyfriend whom I intend to marry soon as I finish school. See? we're ENGAGED!”

After he forgave me, he got the picture and never forgot to introduce me as his FIANCEE after that — up until we were married. All that it ever came down to was a quasi-explanation anyhow, of our status, depending on the situation. Most of the time he was just simply introduced as “my sweetie,” and I let the mystery hang in the air.

I say, be creative by all means, but if you love the girl, don't sweat the naming of the relationship. I quite liked being called, “my girl,” to those of Charlie's friends who wondered.

bedroommate

monogomate

TWIMLAH (The woman in my life and home)

HLP – Heterosexual Life Partner

In one way, isn't “communicating this status” the whole point of becoming a “spouse/husband/wife” instead of a “boyfriend/girlfriend”?

“Partner” has the opposite problem: when heterosexuals use this to describe themselves, I imagine someone who's really pleased with how PC and inclusive they are.

“Partner” is just too clinical, business-like, unsexy.

“Significant other” is a mouthful and sounds academic, or like a martian observing human life forms.

I don't see the problem with “girlfriend” / “boyfriend.” “It's trivial and silly!” No it's not — it's utterly normal and serious. “It sounds too young!” Come on — I hear people of all ages using these words to describe each other. You're not literally calling the person a “girl” or “boy” — the words have their own special meanings that are understood by everyone. In contrast, calling her your “partner” raises the question of whether she's your business partner or what.

I'm afraid that if you're not married, “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” are the only acceptable terms.

Yet they are considered the country of romance, specifically by keeping these boundaries fluid.

Since it seems you want to stress both the seriousness and voluntary element of the relationship, I would suggest you start testing out a fine old French word, “paramour.”

“par-” for; “amour” love's sake

While in English it used to have a sense of “secret,” I think it stresses the free will aspect of the relationship, that it is chosen primarily in liberty and natural dignity out of real love.

Unlike girlfriend, which does sound trivial, or wife, which is a legal status, paramour is not only incredibly romantic but expresses the woman's noble heart.