Which would you rather be: someone who lives in prison for 100 years, or someone who lives free for 50 years?

Longevity has not nearly as much to do with “flourishing” as you make it to be.

Which would you rather be: someone who lives in prison for 100 years, or someone who lives free for 50 years?

Longevity has not nearly as much to do with “flourishing” as you make it to be.

- The Mormons, while often dealing with psychological repression to different degrees, are as a whole, one of the happiest, most loving, most fulfilled, longest living groups on the planet. Their path works for them (until it doesn’t).

- As an executive coach, I’ve learned that the #1 factor that creates growth and change is a person’s level of commitment. The Mormons, on the whole, have an extremely high level of commitment to loving and to personal growth – their organization demands it from them – and this is perhaps the single biggest strength of their church. Whether their beliefs are right or wrong, effective or ineffective, they COMMIT to them, both individually and collectively, and do all that they can to “walk their talk.”

- This greatest strength is also the organization’s greatest weakness (as is typically the case). When the members get to the place where they want to hold on to their commitment to love, but have outgrown some or all of the particular beliefs of their container (as we will all do, multiple times in our lives, if we keep growing) they often get caught in an extremely painful bind, as I did. When I left the church at 18, it was because I could no longer tolerate the civil war in my core – I could no longer deny my personal truths in order to be part of the loving collective. This was a *remarkably* painful choice, which is why there are so few of us “ex-mormons” who have done the healing work necessary to become “post-mormons.”

- When this happens, and someone breaks away, it creates a tremendous learning opportunity both for the “leavee” as well as for their family. Sometimes the family fails to rise to the occasion (as happened with my grandfather and uncle) and sometimes they do (as happened with my father and I). When they do, it is typically because they learn and practice a truly profound truth – that love is greater than beliefs.

- If we would like to find more of the love and happiness the Mormons have, and don’t feel called to their path, we can still learn from them. Namely, we can strive to find and immerse ourselves in growth processes that are “bigger than ourselves,” we can strive to create the same over-arching level of commitment to loving no matter what it takes, and when faced each day with the “master choice” of “do you want to be right or loving?” we can strive to choose loving.

Thank you for opening such a provocative thread (at least for me!) I’m at a family reunion with my Mormon tribe right now, and this sparked my own process of working to see how I can choose my love for them over my remaining anger, hurt, and self-righteous judgments about their path and what it forced me to go through as I left it.

Namaste,
Brian

- The Mormons, while often dealing with psychological repression to different degrees, are as a whole, one of the happiest, most loving, most fulfilled, longest living groups on the planet. Their path works for them (until it doesn’t).

- As an executive coach, I’ve learned that the #1 factor that creates growth and change is a person’s level of commitment. The Mormons, on the whole, have an extremely high level of commitment to loving and to personal growth – their organization demands it from them – and this is perhaps the single biggest strength of their church. Whether their beliefs are right or wrong, effective or ineffective, they COMMIT to them, both individually and collectively, and do all that they can to “walk their talk.”

- This greatest strength is also the organization’s greatest weakness (as is typically the case). When the members get to the place where they want to hold on to their commitment to love, but have outgrown some or all of the particular beliefs of their container (as we will all do, multiple times in our lives, if we keep growing) they often get caught in an extremely painful bind, as I did. When I left the church at 18, it was because I could no longer tolerate the civil war in my core – I could no longer deny my personal truths in order to be part of the loving collective. This was a *remarkably* painful choice, which is why there are so few of us “ex-mormons” who have done the healing work necessary to become “post-mormons.”

- When this happens, and someone breaks away, it creates a tremendous learning opportunity both for the “leavee” as well as for their family. Sometimes the family fails to rise to the occasion (as happened with my grandfather and uncle) and sometimes they do (as happened with my father and I). When they do, it is typically because they learn and practice a truly profound truth – that love is greater than beliefs.

- If we would like to find more of the love and happiness the Mormons have, and don’t feel called to their path, we can still learn from them. Namely, we can strive to find and immerse ourselves in growth processes that are “bigger than ourselves,” we can strive to create the same over-arching level of commitment to loving no matter what it takes, and when faced each day with the “master choice” of “do you want to be right or loving?” we can strive to choose loving.

Thank you for opening such a provocative thread (at least for me!) I’m at a family reunion with my Mormon tribe right now, and this sparked my own process of working to see how I can choose my love for them over my remaining anger, hurt, and self-righteous judgments about their path and what it forced me to go through as I left it.

Namaste,
Brian