Eons ago, when the song was brand-new and I read Rolling Stone, the gossip item said that “You’re So Vain” was Carly Simon’s rhetorical revenge on Warren Beatty. That still seems plausible to me. At least he looks to have the right personality for the role, whether he actually jetted to Nova Scotia or raced a horse at saratoga.

There are some folks out there (Camille Paglia comes to mind) who think that charisma is always fueled by narcissism. This is too grim and chthonian an outlook for my taste, but successful narcissists often are charismatic. Meanwhile, unsuccessful narcissists (those who haven’t been outstandingly successful at antyhing, or don’t have any widely valued talents, or are short on winning ways) often get classified as something besides narcissistic.

I do think, though, that realizing that someone whose allure you found irresistible is genuinely vain or narcissistic is going to reduce that allure. Maybe not all at once, but in due time.

After all, a narcissist thinks he or she is better than anyone else; has little to no empathy for others, or disregards the empathic signals that manage to get through; needs admiration from other people while despising those who supply it; and is prone to rage if the exaggerated self-evaluation ever gets challenged.

And how many people are going to find any of these qualities alluring?

Robert Campbell

Oh come now, haven’t you read <insert post here> by Atrios?

By my lights, your authorship of paragraphs #3 and #5 of this post constitute an act of auto-fellatio unparalleled in the history of the blogosphere.

Thus, the “you” of the verses is different from the “you” of the refrain, and the accusation in the refrain is: “you’re so vain that you ascribe these qualities to yourself, and so you think I’m talking about you, based on nothing except the fact that I’m talking about someone desirable.”

Not airtight, but I thought I’d throw it out.

I don’t think reminding him that he’s sometimes “with the wife of a close friend”, is a sign of unambiguous fondness for his traits. I agree that there’s conflict, but I don’t think the vanity is something she’s attracted to, either (perhaps the confidence, but not the vanity).

Now, with the distance of years, she can see the vanity and excessive concern for the admiration of others was a flaw, and she’s singing about realizing it. And she assumes that he’ll interpret this, wrongly, (as Will did) by assuming that she’s still hung-up on him and singing about his marvelousness rather than about what she now realizes are serious flaws.

Or, maybe it’s just a stupid song.

I don’t think reminding him that he’s sometimes “with the wife of a close friend”, is a sign of unambiguous fondness for his traits. I agree that there’s conflict, but I don’t think the vanity is something she’s attracted to, either (perhaps the confidence, but not the vanity).

Now, with the distance of years, she can see the vanity and excessive concern for the admiration of others was a flaw, and she’s singing about realizing it. And she assumes that he’ll interpret this, wrongly, (as Will did) by assuming that she’s still hung-up on him and singing about his marvelousness rather than about what she now realizes are serious flaws.

Or, maybe it’s just a stupid song.

Thus, the “you” of the verses is different from the “you” of the refrain, and the accusation in the refrain is: “you’re so vain that you ascribe these qualities to yourself, and so you think I’m talking about you, based on nothing except the fact that I’m talking about someone desirable.”

Not airtight, but I thought I’d throw it out.

By my lights, your authorship of paragraphs #3 and #5 of this post constitute an act of auto-fellatio unparalleled in the history of the blogosphere.

Oh come now, haven’t you read <insert post here&gt by Atrios?

Eons ago, when the song was brand-new and I read Rolling Stone, the gossip item said that “You’re So Vain” was Carly Simon’s rhetorical revenge on Warren Beatty. That still seems plausible to me. At least he looks to have the right personality for the role, whether he actually jetted to Nova Scotia or raced a horse at saratoga.

There are some folks out there (Camille Paglia comes to mind) who think that charisma is always fueled by narcissism. This is too grim and chthonian an outlook for my taste, but successful narcissists often are charismatic. Meanwhile, unsuccessful narcissists (those who haven’t been outstandingly successful at antyhing, or don’t have any widely valued talents, or are short on winning ways) often get classified as something besides narcissistic.

I do think, though, that realizing that someone whose allure you found irresistible is genuinely vain or narcissistic is going to reduce that allure. Maybe not all at once, but in due time.

After all, a narcissist thinks he or she is better than anyone else; has little to no empathy for others, or disregards the empathic signals that manage to get through; needs admiration from other people while despising those who supply it; and is prone to rage if the exaggerated self-evaluation ever gets challenged.

And how many people are going to find any of these qualities alluring?

Robert Campbell